New Bike Ride Report

   Cannondale would like to thank you for your purchase! Please take a moment and complete the following survey about the performance of your new bicycle.

The 2013 Scalpel climbs like:
[  ] - Like a Sherpa
[  ] - Like a mountain goat
[  ] - Like it has a motor
[  ] - Like a Sherpa riding a motorized mountain goat

The 2013 Scalpel descendes like:
[  ] - Like a prostitute
[  ] - Like Google's stock right before we bought our house
[  ] - Seriously, that stock dropped like panties on prom night
[  ] - F*ck you, JRR Donnelly

The Lefty fork makes me feel
[  ] - Frightened
[  ] - Aroused
[  ] - Frighteningly aroused
[  ] - Confused

Twenty Nine inch wheeled bicycles are referred to as:
[  ] - "Two-niners"
[  ] - "Twenty niners"
[  ] - "Wagon wheels"
[  ] - "Gay"

The 2013 Scalpel is build like a ____ but handles like a ____:
[  ] - "meat cleaver... scalpel."
[  ] - "747... F22"
[  ] - "dream... better dream."
[  ] - "steak house... bistro."

Final thoughts on your 2013 Cannondale Scalpel 29er?
[  ] - "Can't talk - riding."
[  ] - "Slower than a fast motorcycle."
[  ] - "Faster than some slow motorcycles."
[  ] - "I would do things to this bike that would make your mother blush."

   Whoever said the bike doesn't make the rider never made the switch from a steel hard tail to a carbon full suspension.